The Tenth Sunday after Pentecost ---- 29 July 2018

John 6:1-21

1 After this Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, also called the Sea of Tiberias. 2 A large crowd kept following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing for the sick. 3 Jesus went up the mountain and sat down there with his disciples. 4 Now the Passover, the festival of the Jews, was near. 5 When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, "Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?" 6 He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. 7 Philip answered him, "Six months' wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." 8 One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, 9 "There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?" 10 Jesus said, "Make the people sit down." Now there was a great deal of grass in the place; so they sat down, about five thousand in all. 11 Then Jesus took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. 12 When they were satisfied, he told his disciples, "Gather up the fragments left over, so that nothing may be lost." 13 So they gathered them up, and from the fragments of the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten, they filled twelve baskets. 14 When the people saw the sign that he had done, they began to say, "This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world." 15 When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself. 16 When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea, 17 got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. 18 The sea became rough because a strong wind was blowing. 19 When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat, and they were terrified. 20 But he said to them, "It is I; do not be afraid." 21 Then they wanted to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the land toward which they were going.

"There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?"

·       The Gospel today tells us of an amazing miracle which was misinterpreted. Jesus gave them bread and fish – all they could eat – and they wished to make him king since he could continue to do this. He could be their “bread king” and supply them with all they needed every day. However… Would they tire of barley loaves and dried fish? Would they cry out for variety? Would they eventually resent their “bread king” for giving them what they need but holding back on what they might find they want? Jesus knew his audience and literally ‘headed for the hills’ when he realized the crowd would demand that he be king.

·       The crowds thought this was the Kingdom and that it had arrived. Jesus didn’t agree; he knew that there was more to the Kingdom than eating and drinking. True, the loaves and fish are a sign of the Kingdom, but they are not the Kingdom itself.

·       As I said, there is lots more to the Kingdom of God than just eating and drinking.

·       The boy’s bagged lunch (I like to think that is what it was) was enough for Jesus to work with. As one take-home lesson, please never think that what we have to share will not be usable to further the Kingdom. What we offer sincerely will never be refused or wasted. After all, the boy’s lunch of 5 pieces of pita bread (that’s a loaf, by the way) and two fish was enough with Jesus to feed 5 thousand people, and the key word there is “with Jesus.”

·       Whatever we might have to offer and share will be enough for Jesus to work with and do a lot with. But whatever we offer will remain a sign of the Kingdom, and not the Kingdom itself. Signs are what we have now, for the fullness of the Kingdom is still to come. Signs point the way and in some cases, signs are the way of bringing us into the presence of God’s Kingdom.

·       The signs among us are many… if we have the grace to see them. The sacraments, the Word of God, the community of the Church, any event or idea or action that turns our thoughts and hearts to the love of God or that inspires us to be that love of God in the world around us. These are the signs that surround us and can be seen and comprehended through faith… with Jesus.

·       Today we have a wonderful sign of the Kingdom among us. It is not the multiplication of loaves and fish… although that would certainly make the luncheon after the service simpler and less costly, as well as very interesting. No, it is the welcoming of a young child into “the household of God.” It is a sign like no other that the Kingdom is a gift rather than a thing we build for ourselves or God or a thing we earn by our goodness and our works. All we can do in Baptism is receive and dedicate our lives to gratitude and grateful service.

·       I’d like to say that I’m grateful to Amanda and Michael and all their families… and to MacLean for letting me and all of us be witnesses to this in-breaking of the Kingdom of God into our days.

·       Many of the signs that surround us point to things beyond us. The larger signs – like the Scripture and the Sacraments – not only point but they carry us to what is pointed at. Even further, they take us beyond that to service in our daily lives. The Scriptures help to define us and give us a path to follow. The Sacraments nourish and help us on our disciple’s way. This is how the Kingdom can be known. This is now the Kingdom breaks into our lives and fills us with wonder… and still they are not the Kingdom.

·       John’s Gospel spends time on these signs for the purpose of the Gospels is to carry the Good News of Jesus Christ to those who were not present at the events of Jesus’ life with his disciple so they too can become disciples. At the end of his Gospel, John says that Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.  (John 20: 30-31)

·       What will the Kingdom be like? We have clues and hints from the Scripture and the life of the Church. Without guessing at details – for they would be only guesses – We can take today as a sign of the Kingdom Coming… A child receives the gift of new life in Christ, a community is present and celebrates in joy this event and remembers the event of the live-giving Cross and Resurrection. We sing, we pray, we enjoy each other’s company… and we eat. Remember, the Kingdom is often likened to a banquet. So let’s look for the signs, the signs that give us hope, direction, and the presence of our loving God.

The Ninth Sunday after Pentecost ---- 22 July 2018

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while." For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.
   When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. 

·       What did Jesus teach them? Mark doesn’t say. For the most part, Mark focuses on the cross and the sacrifice of Jesus there. He doesn’t focus on the miracles and he tells only a little bit of what Jesus taught. For example, the Beatitudes of the Sermon on the Mount (or on the Plain) in Matthew and Luke are not found in Mark. Still Mark says Jesus taught the crowds out of compassion for them.

·       It is odd, though, that Jesus has taken his disciples to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while. When they get to that “deserted place”, Jesus immediately begins to teach the people met them there and who were like sheep without a shepherd… It seems like a mixed message.

·       It appears that way, IF we look at one side of the life of a disciple and one side only. The role of a disciple is to take on the teaching, the “discipline”, of the teacher. To do that, the disciple is required to listen, to learn, to absorb the teaching of the master. Then the disciple has to act, applying the master’s teachings.

·       Yes, Jesus taught the crowds out of compassion. They had no direction, no path to follow, no center on which to build their lives and actions. His teaching was just as much those people who were already his disciples as it was for the crowd that had chased them around the lake.

·       We need to look again at what the disciples had been doing. Today’s Gospel reading takes up where the Gospel from two weeks ago ended. The disciples had been sent out two by two on a mission to preach repentance, to cast out unclean spirits, and to heal people of their diseases. When they returned, it appears that even Jesus felt it was too busy; he and they needed a rest.

·       (Some of the narrative is missing; it’s being held for another day since those passages are important by themselves. We’ll hear them soon.)

·       Rest in the Gospel sense of today’s reading is not just down-time… or wasted time as some see it. For the disciples, it would be time to recover their energies and time to hear and see Jesus, their master. Maybe they shared their experiences of their mission and heard more of what they were to preach. The point is they were not alone but they were with Jesus.

·       In our own day, we are called to do the same – to spend time with Jesus, in prayer, in reading the Word, in the community’s worship. This leads us to be compassionate with one another and with the world that so needs the compassion of Jesus. Such service of the other will turn then to a time in such a “deserted place” to be with the One who has taught us.

·       And so the circle turns again and again… and always again. A modern theologian and Scriptural commentator wrote A heart without action is ineffective, and an action without a heart is empty.

·       I have no message on how to get rich or raise our children or how to be successful or what kind of politics are Godly. Lots of preachers talk about that. I don’t think I’d dare. I’ll just attempt to preach Christ and him crucified, as Paul wrote. This is not an easy lesson or a popular one, but it is a true, powerful, and saving lesson.

·       The message for us today then is listen, take care of ourselves, and ever be compassionate… even with ourselves. Not because it’s practical or proper (whatever that means) or enriching or successful, but because it’s the imitation of Jesus himself.

he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. 

The Eighth Sunday after Pentecost ---- 15 July 2018

Ephesians 1:3-14

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love. He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and insight he has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, having been destined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will, so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, might live for the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you had heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and had believed in him, were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit; this is the pledge of our inheritance toward redemption as God's own people, to the praise of his glory.

With all wisdom and insight he has made known to us the mystery of his will…

·       What is the will of God? I realize that this is a loaded question. We are often concerned about the will of God – for our own lives, for our families, for our congregation, for our nation. Sometimes we get very specific and ask what God’s will is for any number of miniscule things in our lives. If fact, the will of God is far larger and far more encompassing.

·       This massive concept can actually be reduced to a simple phrase: God wishes us to live in Christ. If we look at the reading from Paul’s Ephesian letter, we see that phrase or some variant of it all over the place.

·       God has blessed us in Christ

·       God chose us in Christ

·       We are adopted through Christ

·       We are redeemed in Christ and in his blood

·       All creation is gathered in Christ

·       We have an inheritance in Christ

·       There is more and I recommend you read the passage again and underline the parts telling us what we’ve received in Christ.

·       We might ask if we are in Christ, how did we get that way? We’d like to say we deserve it, or we’ve earned it, or we receive it because we’re just wonderful. However this isn’t the case.

·       Paul takes pains to be sure that the Ephesian Christians understand that his salvation and life in Christ that they’ve received doesn’t flow from what they (and we) deserve, but from God and his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved… (note again the reference to Jesus, here as the Beloved.)

·       Remember that the Ephesian Christians were Gentiles and were originally not party to the covenant made with the people of Israel. Paul is telling them that salvation for all – no matter what their birth or background - is a grace and gift available to all.

·       So we all have received this grace of salvation, no matter what our background. This is the will of God. This will is fulfilled in Christ as all of creation is gathered to Christ.

·       Paul wrote that this grace of God is not limited or rationed or doled out in little bitties. It is lavished! He said In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace that he lavished on us.

·       This is indeed good news for all of us. (In case you were wondering or keeping score, “good news” is what Gospel means, even in the original language.) This is something to rejoice in, something to hold on to in our dry times and in our over-whelmed times. This is not something God will take away from us. In fact, this grace of salvation is the basis of who we are as Christians. Paul continued in his letter: In him you also, when you had heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and had believed in him, were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit; this is the pledge of our inheritance toward redemption as God's own people, to the praise of his glory.

·       Here Paul speaks of both what is and of what will be. We have heard the Word and we have been sealed with the Spirit. We await the full redemption of God’s people and the experience of the glory of God. We have tasted these and that has only made our hunger for a deeper relationship with God that much stronger.

·       Our adoption, redemption, and inheritance in Christ is so intensely personal that nothing of this world can intrude on it. Yet it is so vast and broad that it joins us to the entire creation – here and everywhere throughout all that exists. What we await is nothing less than the revelation of our connection to each other, to all that God created, and ultimately, to God, where it all comes down to the simple, powerful phrase – in Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places…

The Seventh Sunday after Pentecost ---- 8 July 2018

Ezekiel 2:1-5

1 He said to me: O mortal, stand up on your feet, and I will speak with you. 2 And when he spoke to me, a spirit entered into me and set me on my feet; and I heard him speaking to me. 3 He said to me, Mortal, I am sending you to the people of Israel, to a nation of rebels who have rebelled against me; they and their ancestors have transgressed against me to this very day. 4 The descendants are impudent and stubborn. I am sending you to them, and you shall say to them, "Thus says the Lord God." 5 Whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house), they shall know that there has been a prophet among them.

2 Corinthians 12:2-10

2 I know a person in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows. 3 And I know that such a person—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows— 4 was caught up into Paradise and heard things that are not to be told, that no mortal is permitted to repeat. 5 On behalf of such a one I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. 6 But if I wish to boast, I will not be a fool, for I will be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think better of me than what is seen in me or heard from me, 7 even considering the exceptional character of the revelations. Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. 8 Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, 9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Mark 6:1-13

1 He left that place and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. 2 On the sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astounded. They said, "Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been given to him? What deeds of power are being done by his hands! 3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him. 4 Then Jesus said to them, "Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house." 5 And he could do no deed of power there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them. 6 And he was amazed at their unbelief. Then he went about among the villages teaching. 7 He called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. 8 He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; 9 but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics. 10 He said to them, "Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. 11 If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them." 12 So they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. 13 They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

·       All three of today’s readings seem to deal with failure one way or another. Ezekiel is told people won’t listen to him. Paul is afflicted with a demon that keeps him humble. Jesus goes to his home town and receives a “ho-hum” reception with people asking “Isn’t that Joseph and Mary’s boy? What’s he going on about?”

·       Isn’t it nice to know that such great people like Ezekiel, Paul, and Jesus had to deal with what could be called failure.

·       The trouble is this is not what the readings are about. There would be no “good news” in such a catalogue of failures. Something more is going on… and thank God that’s so.

·       Did Ezekiel fail? If he expected people to respond to his prophetic preaching with repentance and life-changing action… well, then he did fail. But God warned him that the people of Israel would not listen but would persist in their rebellion against God. Ezekiel knew this right from the word “go.”

·       Did Paul fail? Despite the amazing and incredible revelations of the third heaven and Paradise to hear things that are not to be told, things no mortal is permitted to repeat, he suffered from some affliction that he chalked up to the work of the devil. There are many theories as to what that affliction might have been – epilepsy and seizures, blindness, chronic migraines, recurring malaria, or some embarrassing personal trait or behavior. Truth to tell, we’ll never know. It sounds like a trade-off. Got visions from God? Feel physically lousy for much of your life. (Paul wasn’t alone in this. Luther suffered from nasty intestinal problems. Francis of Assisi went blind and had TB. Henry VIII was obese, and had to deal with boils, skin ulcers, and gout.) Paul might not have expected this, but it was to be his lot.

·       Did Jesus fail? Jesus knew he and his ministry would be opposed, even to the point where he expected death. The skepticism of the townsfolks of Nazareth appeared to trouble him to the point where he could do no deed of power there… Many of Jesus’ words in the Gospels express his understanding that he would be opposed, even to the point of predicting his crucifixion.

·       There is an under-lying current of faithfulness here, however. Ezekiel was call to be a prophet and speak prophetically… whether or not the people listened. Paul accepted the tormenting messenger of Satan and continued his mission. Jesus not only shrugged off the skepticism of his hometown, but doubled down and sent the disciples out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. They were to behave as people with a mission, leaving behind clutter and go on preaching and healing. They were to go so far as to shake the dust from their feet if they were not welcomed and heard in a place.

·       The current flowing through all three reading is the faithfulness of God. The rejection of Ezekiel, the pain of Paul, and the confusion over Jesus were not enough to stop the will of God, even if they did pain the humanity of all three. Ezekiel was called to be a prophet and

Whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house), they shall know that there has been a prophet among them.

·       Paul wrote: Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

·       Jesus sent the disciple in pairs and they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

·       It is God’s faithfulness to us that leads to all grace and salvation and indeed, all the good things we’ve received. Everything is grace and gift.

·       We don’t hope in our own powers and skills and wits, but in what God and what God allows us to do with the gifts we’ve received from God. Our weakness does not stand in the way of God’s love, grace, and will. Poor instruments we might be, but what God can do with the smallest and the simplest of what God as created! Paul said it best…

·       "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

The Sixth Sunday after Pentecost ---- 1 July 2018

Happy Canada Day!

This sermon was delivered to both Trinity Anglican and St. John's Evangelical Lutheran Churches on Sunday, July 1. It is lengthy and not entirely my own words. It simply struck me as important to tell both congregations that the church is God's and is a gift to them. All growth comes from God.

Mark 5:21-43

21 When Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side, a great crowd gathered around him; and he was by the sea. 22 Then one of the leaders of the synagogue named Jairus came and, when he saw him, fell at his feet 23 and begged him repeatedly, "My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well, and live." 24 So he went with him. And a large crowd followed him and pressed in on him. 25 Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years. 26 She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse. 27 She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 for she said, "If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well." 29 Immediately her hemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. 30 Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, "Who touched my clothes?" 31 And his disciples said to him, "You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, "Who touched me?' " 32 He looked all around to see who had done it. 33 But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease." 35 While he was still speaking, some people came from the leader's house to say, "Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the teacher any further?" 36 But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the leader of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." 37 He allowed no one to follow him except Peter, James, and John, the brother of James. 38 When they came to the house of the leader of the synagogue, he saw a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. 39 When he had entered, he said to them, "Why do you make a commotion and weep? The child is not dead but sleeping." 40 And they laughed at him. Then he put them all outside, and took the child's father and mother and those who were with him, and went in where the child was. 41 He took her by the hand and said to her, "Talitha cum," which means, "Little girl, get up!" 42 And immediately the girl got up and began to walk about (she was twelve years of age). At this they were overcome with amazement. 43 He strictly ordered them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat.

"Do not fear, only believe."

·       I threw out my first draft of this sermon. In fact I threw out all the drafts of it. I found something better. My cousin, Kevin, in Maryland in the US sent me this long note, written by another Kevin – Kevin Ryan, but it’s about a relative both my cousin, Kevin and I had in common.

·         Have any of you heard of Covenant House? It started in New York as a shelter for runaway and abused teenagers founded by a Catholic priest of the Franciscan Order. Because of a sexual scandal, that priest stepped down and eventually Sr. Mary Rose McGeady of the Daughters of Charity became president.

·         ‪In 1990, when she was asked to lead Covenant House, Sister was near the end of a storied career, already having run one of the country’s largest Catholic Charities. She had also led her religious community, the Daughters of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul, and was ready for a break. She declined the offer.

·         ‪She’d heard Covenant House was struggling financially, closing hundreds of beds for kids facing homelessness across numerous countries, and was reportedly at risk of shutting down.

·         In New York City alone, more than 100 beds were eliminated (including a floor for youth infected with HIV) as were two vans that brought kids off the streets on frigid nights.

·         ‪When a second call came asking her to lead Covenant House, she still resisted, but agreed to pray and discern some more. She confided to friends the offer was unwelcome. She had been dreaming of retirement, of less stress, of simple joys like spending time with her sisters, baking and gardening.

·         ‪She later (said) she also wrestled with the prospect of failure - Covenant House was in grave danger in 1990. What if she could not help resuscitate donors’ trust and staff morale? What if she spent the next five years of her life shuttering buildings, closing beds and laying off staff? She thought some more and said no, again.

·         But the faces of kids living on the streets tore at her heart as the days wore on. Joe Sullivan, her confidant and Brooklyn’s auxiliary bishop, appealed to her and asked her to say yes, and she finally relented. “OK God,” she wrote in her journal, “here we go.”

·         ‪The New York Times put the news on its front page. She plunged in. Come hell or high water, she was determined to clean up and expand Covenant House to help more kids.

·         In a remarkable act of leadership and faith during her service as president (a few skeptics called it reckless) she insisted that a $1 million human rights prize from the Conrad Hilton Foundation be used to build a new shelter for children living on the streets in Managua, rather than establish an agency endowment.

·         That shelter at Casa Alianza Nicaragua became a bridge from the streets for thousands of children and today protects scores of unaccompanied kids from the burgeoning violence that is engulfing Nicaragua.

·         By the time Sr. Mary Rose retired from Covenant House (for real this time) in 2003, she had won over hundreds of thousands of donors and opened new shelters for youth in 11 cities, among them Oakland, Calif.; Anchorage; Orlando, Florida; Vancouver, British Columbia; and Managua, Nicaragua.

·         (She and the writer of this article) spoke often and (he) solicited her advice. (She gave it whether solicited it or not.) She usually ended the same way: “Let’s pray. We have to trust God’s providence.” (He) learned a lot from her over the years, much of it delivered with a mixture of no-nonsense wisdom, thorny assertiveness and Irish wit.

·         Once in 2010, just weeks after they’d sharply cut the budget and closed programs to address a widening budget shortfall due to the drop in donations, Covenant House received a miraculous $6 million bequest. The writer (then the president of Covenant House) was stunned.

·         [Quoting now] I called Sister, in part venting that the gift arrived weeks after I’d already shut down programs. I could not quickly rehire staff and reopen the sites. “You’re a terrible president,” she half-laughed. “For 1 thing, you closed those programs and don’t trust God’s providence. And for another thing, you’re complaining to me about a $6 million gift!”

·         In 2012, sitting with my kids at a JETS game, I received a call from Albany. Sister was dying. An inoperable infection had spread and doctors estimated she had only a few days left. Sister wanted me to come see her to say goodbye. I left the game, packed and drove to Albany where the Daughters of Charity welcomed me and let me spend the week in their guest house.

·         (A few days after my arrival), Sister was in more pain and the treatment team decided to increase her medication. I sensed a final opportunity to communicate with her. I took her hand, my eyes were wet. “You saved us, Mary Rose. Thank you, on behalf of all the kids.” But she frowned.

·         “With great effort, she removed the oxygen mask from her face so I could hear her. She was annoyed. “Covenant House wasn’t my gift to God or the kids. It was their gift to me. And it’s not your gift to God. It’s God’s gift to you.” She took several deep, raspy breaths and looked back my way. “I didn’t save Covenant House, Kevin. God did. It’s not my Covenant House. It’s not yours either. It’s God’s. You have to get out of the way and let Him use you, or it doesn’t work,” she said.”

·         “She died the next day, early on a Thursday morning in September. Patty Griffin’s We Shall All Be Reunited was playing on my phone near her pillows. I slumped my head on the bed and said goodbye. We buried her a few days later in the nuns’ cemetery, shaded by a tall statue of St. Vincent de Paul, the Catholic patron saint of the poor. We stood at the grave: her family, the Daughters of Charity, our Covenant House community and a handful of adults she had cared for as children and teenagers.”

·         “On the drive home I thought about our last conversation. I was angry she’d been tough and challenging right up to the end. But I was also angry she was right. Up to that point, no, I didn’t really trust God to keep the doors open. I often tossed and turned with anxiety at night, afraid we’d run out of money and not be able to help the kids who needed us.

·         And as painful as it was to admit to myself, Sister saw that I had let it all become the Kevin show in my head. I convinced myself I had to save Covenant House - and won’t that make God happy with me?! Back then, I imagined grace as the prize we win for impressing God. Sigh. Slow learner here.

·         So I took time - weeks really - after her funeral and dug deep to reflect on the ways our Covenant House movement was a gift to me. How the kids’ overcoming had fortified me to confront my own grief and loss. How their ability to forgive stretched my heart. How their recoveries taught me the effectiveness of, and need for, high quality mental health care. How their suffering infused me with empathy. How their hunger for family brought me closer to mine. How their rising taught me the power of unconditional love and absolute respect. How their transformations sculpted my faith.

·         Had Sister Mary Rose left me with puffy sentiment, her words might have fed my vanity, but not my soul. What sounded like pure admonishment at the time instead became my map of the world. Sort of like the voice on a navigation app that urges you to reroute.

·         And at the top of that map are three lessons I take from her life:

·         First, act with love and trust God for the rest.

·         Second, until the last homeless child is safely sheltered, do more.

·         And third, the greatest work of your life, the most audacious use of your heart and the biggest test of your faith, may well be waiting around the corner for you, just as you plan to curl up and downshift. Be ready.

·         Well, my cousin, Sr. Mary Rose McGready has both shamed me and inspired me. When I see her in the here-after, she’ll probably punch me in the chest and then give me a hug. That’s how we Irish do it.

·         I haven’t trusted God like I’ve pretended to. And I dare say neither have any of us. But we can start again. We can always start again. In the face of death, taboos, and so-called unclean people, Jesus tells the leader and tells us "Do not fear, only believe." His word can overcome what people call ‘unclean’ and can overcome death. If we trust God and walk in faith, we’ll be amazed at what God can do with our congregations. We may have to walk the unknown road. On such a road there are only two lights to follow. One light is on the next step; the other is on the final destination. Between the two is only fog… and the hand of God leading us… and the voice of Jesus, saying again and again, "Do not fear, only believe."